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De-Escalation Support
Lesson 1 of 5

What to say during meltdowns

Fewer words. Slower body. Warmer voice.

When your child is mid-meltdown, less is more. The thinking brain is offline — long sentences don't land.

Try:

  • 'I'm right here.'
  • 'You're safe.'
  • 'I can see this is really big.'
  • 'You don't have to talk. I'll wait.'

Avoid: 'calm down,' 'use your words,' 'stop crying,' lectures, threats. They escalate.

I Do / We Do / You Do
I do

I'll pick ONE phrase from above and practice saying it slowly, out loud, today.

We do

Next meltdown, I'll use my one phrase — and only that phrase — for the first minute.

You do

Write your phrase somewhere you'll see it (phone lock screen, fridge).

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