The 30-Day Playbook

By the end of this week: By Day 7 you can name your child's top trigger, the time of day it hits, and the first warning sign.

1. 1

   Set up your map

   10 min

   You can't fix what you can't see. Today you build the place everything gets written down.

   1. Step 1.Open your Behavior Tracker and add your child.
   2. Step 2.Write the one behavior that hurts the most right now.
   3. Step 3.Print the Meltdown Emergency Card and put it on the fridge.

   I Do: You say out loud: "We're learning what your body needs."

   We Do: Walk to the fridge together and read the card once.

   You Do: Your child points to the calm-down spot they want to use.

   One behavior named. One card on the fridge.

2. 2

   Log one hard moment

   5 min

   One real moment written down beats a week of remembering wrong.

   1. Step 1.When it happens, hit Log in the tracker.
   2. Step 2.Write what came right before it (A), what your child did (B), what happened after (C).
   3. Step 3.Do not fix anything today. Just watch and write.

   I Do: You narrate calmly: "That was hard. I'm still here."

   We Do: After it's over, name the feeling together in one word.

   You Do: Your child picks the word that fits: mad, sad, scared, tired.

   Your first real data point.

3. 3

   Find the time of day

   8 min

   Most behavior is not random. It clusters around one part of the day.

   1. Step 1.Log every hard moment with the time.
   2. Step 2.Circle the two worst hours of your day.
   3. Step 3.Write what is always happening in those hours.

   I Do: You say: "4pm is hard for us. Let's make it easier."

   We Do: Plan one small change for that hour together (snack, quiet, outside).

   You Do: Your child chooses which change happens first.

   You know your family's hardest hour.

4. 4

   Spot the first warning sign

   7 min

   Every meltdown has a 30-second warning. Catch it and you stop half of them.

   1. Step 1.Watch for the body sign before the blow-up (loud voice, stomping, red face, going quiet).
   2. Step 2.Write the sign in your tracker.
   3. Step 3.Say the sign out loud the next time you see it, with no correction.

   I Do: You model: "My shoulders get tight when I'm frustrated."

   We Do: Do a body check together: hands, jaw, chest.

   You Do: Your child names their own warning sign.

   You can see it coming.

5. 5

   Calm you first

   5 min

   You can't lower their volume with a raised voice. Your calm is the tool.

   1. Step 1.Pick your reset: 4 slow breaths, cold water, or step to the doorway.
   2. Step 2.Use it once today before you speak.
   3. Step 3.Log how the moment went after.

   I Do: You say: "I need 10 seconds. I'm coming right back."

   We Do: Breathe four slow breaths side by side.

   You Do: Your child does one slow breath on their own.

   One moment where you didn't yell.

6. 6

   Run Tonight's Script once

   10 min

   Three short lines work better than one long lecture.

   1. Step 1.Open Tonight's Script for your child's behavior.
   2. Step 2.Read the three lines before the hard moment so you know them.
   3. Step 3.Use them tonight — exactly as written.

   I Do: You read line 1 out loud in a low, slow voice.

   We Do: You and your child do the calming step in line 2 together.

   You Do: Your child does line 3 — the do-over — on their own.

   You had words ready instead of freezing.

7. 7

   Week 1 pattern review

   15 min

   Seven days of notes is enough to see the clue.

   1. Step 1.Open your pattern summary in the tracker.
   2. Step 2.Write your child's top trigger in one sentence.
   3. Step 3.Send that sentence to Monique in your co-pilot thread.

   I Do: You tell your child one true thing they did well this week.

   We Do: Look at the week together — mark the calm days.

   You Do: Your child picks one goal for next week.

   You can say the trigger out loud in one sentence.