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"I'm Not Going": School Refusal Decoded
When your child says 'I'm not going,' it's a signal — not laziness. Learn how to read it and respond.
- Anxiety, overload, and school refusal
- Questions to ask (and to skip)
- How to partner with the school
'I hate school. I'm not going.' It's not a phase — it's a signal.
School refusal usually means something at school feels unsafe: social, sensory, academic, or emotional overload.
"Something at school is too big for me and I don't know how to say it."
- Don't threaten or bribe
- Don't call them lazy
- Don't force the whole day when the body says no
- 1Get curious, not corrective
- 2Break the day into smaller wins
- 3Loop the teacher in as a partner
"I believe you that it's hard. Let's figure out what part is the hardest."
- Step 1Ask one open question tonight, not five
- Step 2Email the teacher this week
- Step 3Plan one small next-day win together
School refusal is data. Read it with curiosity and the door reopens.
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Turn this lesson into tonight's script.
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