Bright Steps · Free communication card
Communication for Aggression
A big feeling may have reached the body before words were ready.
Step 1 — Spot the clue
Your child may be saying:
- “This feels unsafe.”
- “I need more space.”
- “I cannot handle one more thing.”
Step 2 — Stop. Breathe. Say what you need.
- 1. Stop: Move other people and hard objects away. Use few words.
- 2. Breathe: Keep a safe distance. Take one slow breath where your child can see it.
- 3. Say what you need: Offer one line below.
Adult says
- “I am keeping everyone safe.”
- “I will give you space.”
- “We will talk when your body is calm.”
Child can say
- “Back up, please.”
- “I need space.”
- “This is too much.”
Step 3 — Practice when calm
- 1. I Do — Parent models: Model one line: “I need space.” Step back while you say it.
- 2. We Do — Practice together: Practice saying the line together when everyone is calm.
- 3. You Do — Child tries: Your child says the line and moves to their safe spot.