Communication & Processing
My Kids Won’t Stop Fighting
You hear it from the other room:
Step 1. What's happening
Caregiver…
You hear it from the other room:
“STOP!”
“Give it back!”
“Move!”
Then somebody screams:
“MAMAAAA!”
And you’re thinking:
“Can y’all please get along for FIVE MINUTES?”
Step 2. Behavior clues
Romans 12:18 KJV says:
“If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”
Peace is something children have to learn too.
And sometimes saying:
“Stop fighting!”
doesn’t teach them what to do instead.
Step 3. Watch before you react
- SAFETY FIRST
Separate bodies if hands are involved.
- NAME THE PROBLEM
“You both wanted the same thing.”
- TEACH THE TELLING
Give them replacement words:
“I need space.”
“My turn next.”
“Stop touching me.”
Step 4. STOP → BREATHE → SAY WHAT THEY NEED
STOP — Pause before you react.
BREATHE — One slow breath. Count to five.
SAY — “I’m going to take a minute, then try again.”
Step 5. I DO → WE DO → YOU DO
- I Do — Show it first: model “Safety First” out loud so your family can see it.
- We Do — Practice “Name The Problem” together in a calm moment.
- You Do — Try “Teach The Telling” on your own today. Notice what changes.
Step 6. Try this tonight
- Today, practice: Safety First.
- Today, practice: Name The Problem.
- Today, practice: Teach The Telling.
Caregiver…
When hands start hitting
and emotions start swelling—
safety first, then teach the telling.
Don’t only stop the behavior.
Teach the skill that needs to replace it.
💜 Before we stress, let’s assess.
Spot the clue. Know what to do.
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